Toilet Troubles

One thing my parents would tell you about me when I was little, other than being a total obnoxious pain in the ass, is that I loved to critique public restrooms.  Little did I know I would still be way into this over two decades later.  Actually, I totally knew.  I’m not sure I knew I’d be writing about it, though.

You can really observe the character of an establishment based on its restrooms.  Easily one of the most depressing things in the world are Pennsylvania rest stops…peculiar, filthy, overpriced hellholes filled with disgusting food chains and souvenir shops selling the worst possible trinkets you can imagine.

During my holiday ride home from western Pennsylvania, I got my yearly reminder and luckily I remembered my camera.  Supposedly recycling exists at these facilities, although I’ve never seen any clues that the waste is separated whatsoever.  I got to watch someone service the containers this time, too… not convinced.

Anyway, the restroom was home to some odd features.  First off, the urinals were all the laser eye flush technology, which is increasingly more common nowadays.  Which do you think is more effective?  The laser eye flushing the urinal before you pee, and then again after you pee?  How about the old fashioned way which includes a handle to flush, that no one uses?  I rarely use it, but will always flush with my foot if I have to.  I’m sure most people do it that way, but if someone else is in the restroom, you might use your hand and then wash them vigorously, which you wouldn’t have done otherwise.  I saw a foot pedal flusher before, I thought that was by far the BEST way to handle the situation and should be the standard, plain and simple.

The highlight of the bathroom was definitely this:


A CENTRALIZED ass gasket dispenser!  Are you serious?  I’ve never seen this before, ever.  They’re normally found in every stall, but not in good old PA rest stops.  I actually find this to be pretty great, but who’s going to think to get their ass gasket before going into a stall?  It’s always hard balancing all the strips of toilet paper on the seat, so I do find ass gaskets to be pretty cool.  I remember one of my teachers in school claimed his brother invented them.  Nice claim to fame, economics teacher.  Your brother’s so-called invention is cooler than your whole life of teaching supply and demand curves.

The other total bummer of this restroom was definitely this:


Automated paper towel dispensers…man, I don’t like these.  Not only does it give you enough paper for your extended family, but if you hold your hand underneath it for a second too long, it doubles the amount it gives you.  Similar dilemma to the automated flushers… some people don’t like touching the paper towel dispenser handles.  I think those people need to pony up and do it… let’s save some paper and batteries.  This is a good segue into the debate against air dryers… they use plenty of energy and they harbor all kinds of disgusting bacteria around the edge of the blower, which are then blasted all over your hands…great.

Why do bathrooms have to suck so much?  I think it’s time to add bathroom reviews to the page as a regular feature, too… off to go check out a composting toilet.

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